Archive for the category ‘ask grace’

Ask Grace: Save the Date Dilemma!

By Social Grace

Dear Grace,
An old sorority sister of mine is getting married this Fall. Last Christmas, she called me to say that she was engaged and how excited she was. She quickly talked about wedding plans and that she would keep me posted. We aren’t the best of friends, we’ve had our share of drama but we still get along, although we are not super close.
Anyway, our mutual friend called me up and told me that she received their Save the Date…but that was a month ago!
Should I ask my friend if I’m invited to her wedding? This seems rude and awkward, just in case she’s changed her mind or something.

What should I do?!

From,

Left out in Los Angeles

Dear Left out,

The rule of thumb is to not confront someone on such a sensitive topic. Asking whether or not you are invited can be a little uncomfortable and seem immature.

However, since your friend did already discuss her wedding plan with you I think it is fair to contact her and bring it up. She will most likely ask you flat-out if you received your Save the Date.

If all else fails, ask your mutual friend to fish around for details. With scenarios like this there isn’t one great solution. Just follow your instincts and keep being nice. If she has a limited guest list, don’t take it personal,her guest list might be influenced by her parents or her future in-laws.

Hope all turns out well.

XOXO,

Grace

Just for fun: Check out Lazy Susan’s response but we warn you, don’t actually take her advice!

Have a question for Social Grace (and Lazy Susan)? E-mail it to: askgrace@proposalmagazine.com.

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This entry was posted on April 8th, 2010 under ask grace, featured, social grace.

Lazy Susan: Save the Date Dilemma!

By Lazy Susan

Today, Social Grace answered a question from a girl who hadn’t received an STD (Save the Date) card from her friend despite being told about the engagement by the bride herself. While her answer was full of tact and sensitivity, Lazy Susan insisted on weighing in too. So, with much reluctance, we bring you Lazy Susan’s response:

Stop hoping and wishing. If you didn’t get a STD, then you’re not getting one. Instead of crying about it, get revenge. Here’s a few ways you can do it:

1. Call her out in a public arena, like facebook. After all her friends see what she did, she’ll be publicly humiliated. You could actually do it in a public place, but you’ll only have the satisfaction of a few moments. Facebook is forever.

2. Ask your girlfriend what date the bride-to-be is having her wedding and throw an even more awesome party. The more awesome it is, the more friends you’ll be able to attract away from her event.

3. Crash her bridal registry. Scour the internet and find her bridal registry (Macy’s, Target, Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel are all good places to start) Then get out your credit card and buy as many things as you can. Instead of having it shipped to their place, ship it to your address. Then return the items to the store, but don’t update the registry. Boy, will she be disappointed when all the gifts she thought she was getting don’t make it to her doorstep.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Lazy Susan’s advice is purely for entertainment value. NEVER actually take her advice. For your best bet, see what Social Grace has to say!

Have a question for Social Grace (and Lazy Susan)? E-mail it to: askgrace@proposalmagazine.com.

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This entry was posted on April 8th, 2010 under ask grace, featured, social grace.

Ask Grace: Money…it’s what we want!

By Social Grace

Dear Grace,

I have lived with my BF for over three years. We have everything we need and we don’t want to register for gifts. Honestly, we want to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon and we just want money to go towards that. How do we ask for money without being tacky?

From,

Poor in Manhattan

Dear Poor,

Unfortunately, there is no polite way to ask for money … on paper. Your best bet is to ask some family members to spread it around verbally so you don’t have to. However, I think the modern age would be a bit forgiving if you set up a website for your cause. However, I understand wanting to do something different, perhaps you can go the modern route and create a website all about your honeymoon to Hawaii? You can then explain your reasons for your request for cash gifts more clearly, and you can share photos from your trip!

Whatever the case may be, register! Even if you would prefer money you will receive gifts no matter what, so you might as well control the odds and register for things you want! Remember: you can register for gift cards, and you can even set up a registry on sites like www.myregistry.com that give you the option to add literally any item, from any online store to one universal registry.

Use your options! In the end, you may regret asking for money.

Good luck!

xoxo,

Grace

Do you have a question for that need answering? E-mail me at askgrace@proposalmagazine.com.

Just for fun: Check out what Lazy Susan has to say. But be warned, do NOT take her advice!

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This entry was posted on March 18th, 2010 under ask grace, social grace.

Lazy Susan: Money…it’s what we want!

By Lazy Susan

Today, Social Grace gave advice to a woman who wants money instead of gifts for her wedding. While Grace’s answer was full of tact and sensitivity, Lazy Susan insisted on weighing in too. So, with much reluctance, we bring you Lazy Susan’s response:

So you want money for your wedding. Well, money is one of my favorite things so I can definitely, help you there, lady.

Here’s four things you can do to get more money from your weddings guests:

1. Charge admission. Everyone’s dying to be at your shindig, right? Well, make them prove it by selling tickets. And if they want to sit in the front, let them know that they’re going to have to pay for it.

2. Be $ubtle. On your wedding invitation, replace all S’s with dollar signs. It’s $o $ubliminal, mo$t people won’t even notice thi$ hint!

3. Learn the return policy. In today’s world, every store accepts returns. Register for gifts as normal, but ask your guests to give you the receipts for your “scrapbook.” Then return all the gifts for cash!

4. Elope. Instead of trying to get money, focus on saving it instead. I bet the money you’d save on your dress, ceremony and reception would buy you at least two tickets to Hawaii.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Lazy Susan’s advice is purely for entertainment value. NEVER actually take her advice. For your best bet, see what Social Grace has to say!

Have a question for Social Grace (and Lazy Susan)? E-mail it to: askgrace@proposalmagazine.com.

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This entry was posted on March 18th, 2010 under ask grace, social grace.

Ask Grace: A MOH’s Right to Choose!

By Social Grace

Dear Grace,

I was asked to be a Bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding and then two weeks later my best friend asked me to be her Maid of Honor…on the same day! I want to be with my BFF but how do I choose and please everyone?

From,

Confused in Sacramento

Dear Confused,

You have to forget about the pacts you made in your youth and your family’s opinions and choose from your heart. If the thought of missing your BFF’s wedding breaks your heart, join her wedding party with absolutely no regrets!!

If your cousin feels at all slighted with your choice, explain to her that you will make it up to her. Maybe you can host a special Bridal Shower for your cousin or help her through the wedding planning process. Remind her that just because you are not present during her big day doesn’t mean you won’t be a source of support and help throughout her wedding experience.

Perhaps you will find as it gets closer to the wedding date that you will have the opportunity to go to both weddings. Did they specify what time of day their weddings will be?

In any case follow your instincts and remember to try and make both women feel special! Have fun!

XOXO,

Grace

Do you have a question for that need answering? E-mail me at askgrace@proposalmagazine.com.

Just for fun: Check out what Lazy Susan has to say. But be warned, do NOT take her advice!

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This entry was posted on March 11th, 2010 under ask grace, social grace.

Ask Grace: Maidzilla is on the loose!

By Social Grace

Dear Grace,

I’m a bride and my maids are making me crazy!! I’m getting married in three months and my Maid of Honor and one of my Bridesmaids both want to throw me my bachelorette party. Instead of working together they are creating a war: my MOH wants a big night out, my Bridesmaid wants to plan a spa day. Both options sound great to me but I just want them to figure this out on their own instead of putting me in the middle. This should be fun! My parents have been divorced since I was ten and even THEY are getting along for the festivities… why are my best friends fighting?! What can I do to stop this?

From,

Bride & her Maidzillas

Dear Bride,

What you have on your hands are two ladies who want to give you something very special and unique. Their hearts are in the right place but unfortunately they aren’t going about this the right way.

Stand up to your girls and tell them flat-out that you will not be their mediator. Remind them that “girl time” can be as simple as sitting around the living room with a bottle of wine, the only people making this an issue is them. If both of them go to the trouble to give you a party, so be it, but ask them not to talk about the other party as if it’s a competition.

If they want one big blow out event, perhaps they can combine the two together? Instead of a spa day have a spa afternoon: everyone gets mani’s and pedi’s and then it’s off to the club.

And remember… happiness and calmness really can rub off on people. If you are a happy, calm & confident bride hopefully your maids will follow suit.

Most of all, have fun! It sounds like your girls are very passionate and love you very much!

XOXO,

Grace

Do you have a question for that need answering? E-mail me at askgrace@proposalmagazine.com.

Just for fun: Check out what Lazy Susan has to say. But be warned, do NOT take her advice!

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This entry was posted on March 4th, 2010 under ask grace, social grace.

Lazy Susan: Maidzilla is on the loose!

By Lazy Susan

Today Social Grace offered some advice for a bride dealing with dueling bridesmaids. You can read her advice or you can take Lazy Susan’s below.

In her letter the bride specifically asked, “What can I do to stop” her friends from fighting over her. My question is, why would you want to stop it? You’ve got two of your closest friends both trying to give you the best bachelorette party ever. So let them. Who says you can’t have two bachelorette parties?

I say, if people want to fight over your attention, then let them. You must be a completely fascinating person if you’re worth that much attention. If you really are that amazing, then you deserve two parties.

But if you insist on taking the traditional route and only having one bachelorette party, then here’s my suggestion. Your bridesmaids are arguing over you, right? Take it another step further. Turn it into a physical fight. Let them literally battle it out to the end in a boxing match or a UFC-style bout (whatever is your style).

You’ll find out who wants it more, when you see who can physically outlast the other. Besides, don’t you want the strongest person to throw you the party anyway? If she can take out one of our friends, then she can obviously “negotiate” with vendors to make your bachelorette party one that you won’t ever forget.

If violence isn’t your thing, I guess you can follow Social Grace’s advice. But I doubt it’s as exciting as mine.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Lazy Susan’s advice is purely for entertainment value. NEVER actually take her advice. For your best bet, see what Social Grace has to say!

Have a question for Social Grace (and Lazy Susan)? E-mail it to: askgrace@proposalmagazine.com.

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This entry was posted on March 4th, 2010 under ask grace, featured, social grace.

Lazy Susan: Elegance can come in small packages!

By Lazy Susan

Today, Social Grace lent some advice to a lady who wants a kid-free wedding. While her help is fine, Lazy Susan wanted to give her two cents.

If having kids at your wedding goes against your style, here’s some ways to deal with those problem children:

1. Free labor. Put those kids to work. They can carry trays, clear tables and wash dishes. Let the parents know that if they want their kids to be present, they better be ready to earn their keep. The best part? You can pay the rugrats in cake.

2. Pick a venue that’s 21 and over only. It’ll probably have to be a bar or casino, but it might be the only way.

3. Trickery is the best policy. Tell your young nieces, nephews and cousins they can come, but they have to get a shot, eat brussel sprouts… and take a bath.

4. Wait until all the children in your family have reached adulthood. But be prepared that you’ll have to delay the wedding by 18 years for each new child born into the family (including your own!)

5. Put your foot down. Stick to your guns. After all, it is your wedding. By the way, this will be the last time you’ll see your family because they will never invite you to another party/wedding after this.

Don’t like these ideas? Fine, you can always take Social Grace‘s advice.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Lazy Susan’s advice is purely for entertainment value. You should never actually listen to her. For your best outcome, always do what Social Grace says.

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This entry was posted on February 25th, 2010 under ask grace, social grace.

Ask Grace: Elegance can come in small packages!

By Social Grace

Dear Social Grace,

My husband and I really want to have an elegant wedding but it’s proven impossible because my siblings and cousins have a huge amount of offspring. I want to say no kids at the wedding, but even when I hinted at the idea, my family had an uproar. How do I get a grown-up event when a third of my family is under 15?

From,

Killjoy in San Francisco

Dear Killjoy,

I completely understand wanting to have an elegant, beautiful and calm wedding. However, since you have so many family members under-age it will be difficult to say absolutely no kids. If just hinting at the idea put your family in a frenzy then you certainly need some options!

Before I give you these options let me say this: kids really do benefit by getting the opportunity to dress up and “act like a grown-up”, and they are your family, one day they will be older and you might regret not giving them the chance to be with you on your family’s special day.

If you still don’t love the idea of kid attendees then here are some ways you can compromise:

1. You could pay a baby sitter to keep the kid guests busy during the ceremony/ reception with age appropriate activities and games.

2. You can plan to have the entire family (little ones included) attend your ceremony and then have an adult only reception. This would require pushing your reception back at least an hour to give your family members the opportunity to drop their kids off at a friend’s house. After the kids get situated with a babysitter/ friend or other non-invited loved one you can be sure to have the elegant night you have been waiting for!

Hope your wedding is fun & relaxing for you and the whole family!

xoxo,

Grace

EDITOR’S NOTE: Just for fun, check out what Lazy Susan has to say.

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This entry was posted on February 25th, 2010 under ask grace, social grace.

Ask Grace: Mom’s dress is my mess…

By Social Grace

Dear Grace,

When I invited my mom to go dress shopping, she told me she wants me to wear her dress. How do I tell her I don’t want to wear her dress?

From,

Lost for words in Ohio

Dear Lost for words,

Unfortunately this is a touchy subject and you are going to have to be honest with your mother. If you don’t want to wear her dress you have to tell her your reasons. No matter what your reasons are try to tell her gently and without being insulting. Remember: this dress is very special to her, so avoid comments that will make her feel less important or embarrassed.

If you don’t like the style because it is outdated, tell her you don’t want to wear it because it doesn’t fit your body shape correctly. If it doesn’t fit your personal style tell your mother that despite its sentimental value, you won’t feel like yourself when you wear it.

Another option is to take some lace or applique from the dress and have it incorporated into your own wedding dress. This may ruin your mother’s dress from being worn again so this must be a decision the two of you make together. You can even save the pieces of the dress so that they may be used towards your daughter’s dress or your grand-daughter’s. (For the very creative: take some fabric from your Mom’s dress and make some pretty pillow covers. Make sure you share the finished products with your Mom!)

If disassembling the dress is emotionally difficult then you can have a special saying or bit of wisdom that mother has said to you embroidered to the inside of the dress so that you have her kind words with you all day.

It sounds like your Mom is very excited to share this experience with you! Giving her options that make her feel extra special as Mother of the Bride will make up for the fact that you won’t be wearing her dress!

xoxo,

Grace

P.S. And just for fun: Check out Lazy Susan’s advice on this matter (but please don’t follow it!)

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This entry was posted on February 18th, 2010 under ask grace, social grace.