Diane always bragged about what a good driver she was.
“I’ve never been pulled over,” she would say whenever her boyfriend Steve got caught speeding or dinged his car.
Steve knew that sooner or later, she was bound to get stopped by the police. And he thought that her first time should be really memorable. He decided he’d be the one to do it. The only setback? He wasn’t really a police officer.
Over the next few weeks, Steve hatched his plan. Steve would rent a police officer’s uniform, follow Diane for a few miles in a borrowed Crown Victoria, then use a flashing light and siren he got from a party store to flag her down.
Finally the big day came. It was a Friday afternoon and Steve parked the borrowed car outside of Diane’s office. As she left work for the day, she got in her car and started driving home.
Even though Diane had never been pulled over, she did drive fast and Steve had to speed to keep up with her. Finally, he was able to get right up on her and hit the siren.
From Diane’s perspective, she heard the siren and saw the light. When she looked in her rearview mirror, she saw a white Ford and immediately thought it was an unmarked police car.
Anxiety set in on her. She immediately pulled over, mentally kicking herself for speeding.
Steve pulled up behind her, pleased that his plan was going so well. Little did he know that a couple of real police officers, Officer Hancock and Drummond, were watching from afar and something didn’t look right to them.
As Steve approached Diane’s car, she was frantically going through her glove compartment for her registration. Before he reached her though, the real officers were on it.
“Freeze!” Officer Hancock shouted.
Steve stopped dead in his tracks. He wasn’t expecting this. Hancock instructed him to turn around and Steve slowly did.
Diane was so flustered, she didn’t notice this and rolled down her window.
“Ma’am, just relax. This man isn’t a police officer,” Drummond told her.
Diane was terrified. She hated to think what this man had wanted from her.
“Diane, it’s me!” Steve shouted.
“Quiet!” Hancock yelled.
“Steve?” Diane asked in shock, suddenly recognizing him. “What are you doing?”
The officers were confused.
“You know this man?” Drummond asked Diane.
“He’s my boyfriend,” she replied.
“Well, your boyfriend is being arrested for impersonating a police officer,” Hancock responded, as he began frisking Steve.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Diane asked Steve as she got out of her car.
Before Steve could answer, Hancock pulled a jewelry box out of Steve’s pocket.
Diane looked at the box, then at Steve.
“I was going to ask you to be my wife,” Steve admitted.
Diane’s expression changed.
“You were?” She asked, tears welling in her eyes.
“Yes. You said you’d never been pulled over and I thought it would be a good surprise for your first time,” Steve said.
“Oh, Steve,” Diane said lovingly.
Drummond and Hancock exchanged glances. Hancock handed the jewelry box to Diane.
“Here you go, Ma’am. Guess this belongs to you,” Hancock said.
Diane opened the box. Hancock gave Steve a go-ahead nod, allowing him to place the ring on her finger.
They kissed and even the two police officers were moved by the romantic moment.
“Awwww…” Hancock said as Diane and Steve broke away from their kiss. “Ma’am, you can pick him up at the station.”
And with that he slapped the handcuffs on Steve and hauled him away.
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March 3, 2010 at 10:52 am
Whooops!