Lazy Susan: Your Ex’s Wedding

By Lazy Susan on February 11th, 2010

Social Grace answered a letter today from Feeling low in Radford, VA, about a girl coping with her ex-boyfriend’s upcoming wedding. Lazy Susan insisted on giving her two cents. Please note, the thoughts and opinions expressed are solely that of Lazy Susan and meant for entertainment value. Real advice should always be taken from Social Grace.

So, my girl, Grace, told Feeling low to take the high road,  but where’s the fun in that?

Here’s what I think Feeling Low should do:

Start the morning of the wedding off with some arts and crafts. Go through your old photo albums and collect all the pictures you have of you and your ex.
Once you’ve got them all together, shred them.

Put the remnants into a bag (paper, plastic, purse, it doesn’t matter.)

Next, you need to get all dolled up. Put on your hottest outfit (bonus points if it’s white), get your hair did, makeup on, the works.

Now, go down to the church, the court, the beach, wherever your ex is having the ceremony. Don’t know where the ceremony is going down? You’re not trying hard enough. You’ve got mutual friends, there’s some engagement announcement. Get on the phone and do your homework. If you can’t find out where the ceremony is, you can find out where the reception will be. Just do it.

Now you need to decide whether you want to go to the ceremony or the reception. It’s up to you; it really doesn’t make a difference to me.

If you’re going to the place of the wedding, join the guests who are waiting outside with bubbles. Once you see the couple, get your ex’s attention. Then dump you ex-confetti all over him and his new bride.

If you opt to go to the reception, wait until the couple is seated at the head of their table before surprising them with the photo bomb.

Then, have a good laugh at the dumb couple. It might not be mature, but it sure will be fun to see their faces. Right?

Oh yeah, one more thing. Make sure to wear running shoes because you’re going to have to make a run for it.

You don’t like my advice? Fine, then go ahead and listen to Social Grace.

Editors note: Lazy Susan’s advice is purely for entertainment purposes. Taking any of her advice is on you. 

Did you like this? Share it:
Tags: , , , ,
No Comments

Leave a Reply

You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>