Dear Grace,

My Grandma (and everyone) keeps asking me when my boyfriend and I are going to “make it official.” It’s true we have been dating for five years and we live together, but we don’t want to get married now; I’m not sure if I ever want to get married. How should I tell her the truth without sounding offensive?

Thank you,

Confused in Tucson

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Dear Confused,

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell the truth when your own feelings may go against your loved ones’ personal values. You are living with a man, you’ve been together for five year; it’s only natural that your family will start expecting that next step. And even though this is a personal decision to you, you can’t very well tell your dear grandmother that it’s none of her business without causing a war. So here is what I think is your best option:

If you don’t want to talk over the phone or in person, send a friendly note or email and just say, “We know everyone’s probably eager to see that happen, but now isn’t the right time.” You will know when you are ready to make that step so just encourage your family to trust your instincts. Don’t expect them all to understand, especially if they have religious reasons behind their beliefs, but try to be as diplomatic as possible. By keeping a short, clear answer will reassure everyone and prevent an argument (hopefully). This is one of those situations where you can be overly sensitive. Think about your grandmother’s point of view and speak from your heart.

Good luck! I hope they get off your back!!

XOXO,

Social Grace

Now that I’ve answered “Confused’s” question, feel free to enjoy some less tactful responses from our one and only Lazy Susan.